“Porn” is a Four-Letter Word
PLEASE NOTE: In an effort to keep it real, let's just say that this Wednesday entry may include graphic descriptions of sexual acts and links to material that some might find objectionable. Much of the content below offends the heart and mind, and we've included it to do just that. Please proceed with appropriate caution. In other words, you might not want to read this at work (particularly if your boss is a “snooper– ) or at home with your wee ones in the room or at all if you don't want to face the ugly truths about pornography.
* * *
Preamble:
I'm sure my grandmother is going to be thrilled that I'm writing this story, but I'm apologizing in advance to the woman rode a filthy boat for weeks so she could move to this country so that, decades later, I could live, and breathe, and you know, write this story, which I like to call “Everything I didn't want to know about sex because I was afraid to ask.– Here goes– ¦.
My grandmother suffers from some pretty debilitating arthritis, but is still able to walk, though with limitation. Despite our protests, she still drives regularly, and a couple of years ago she was driving along a highway in
I couldn't help but picture my sweet, sweet grandmother walking past row after row of pocket vibrators, double-sided dildos, and blow-up dolls, row after row of girl-on-girl, barely legal, and anal adventure videos. It didn't help matters that, after picking her up some said adult establishment, I had the following conversation while hightailing her home:
“I couldn't believe how many cars were in the parking lot,– said my grandmother.
“I bet,– I said.
“I think they show movies in the back or something. Right?–
“Um– ¦ I wouldn't really know, but that makes sense.”
“For twenty-five cents I think the sign said.”
“I suppose if someone had an extra roll of quarters– ¦.–
“I mean, in the middle of the day? Really? Who does that? Who's that horny that they don't want to eat lunch instead?–
“Grandma, that sounds like a trick question.–
What's the moral of the story? I guess it's that a cell phone is your friend, and that if you pick your grandmother up at a porno store when her car breaks down, you might hear her say the word “horny.–
* * *
Problem:
And after that light, ambling preamble, here's where we get as serious as a stroke. Porn is everywhere. And this might not be a problem in and of itself if it weren't for some of the disconcerting side effects. Like the damaging impact on children and teens who don't know a world without pornography available on a whim. Like the damaging impacts on adult sexuality. Like the damaging impact on the performers and the dehumanization of sexuality as a result. Like the damaging desire for more violent pornography.[1]
Our culture tries to hide it's addiction to pornography, which we do amazingly well considering it's a 10-15 billion dollar industry (that's billion with a “b– ) in the
We have a problem with sex in
Our love of pornography is selfish. It's damaging. And we at Progressive Wednesday now think, after doing enough research, that much of it (maybe most if it) is dangerous.
* * *
Make Progress:
Let's just cut to the adult-entertainment chase.
- – - – -
[1] According to study done by Michael Barron and Michael Kimmel published in the Journal of Sex Research: “The more pornography is consumer at one level, the less arousing this material becomes, as the consumer becomes used to — satisfied with — the material. This satiation leads the consumer to seek out newer, more explicit, and more violent form of sexual material that will again arouse him/her.–
[2] Amis, Martin. “Sex in
[3] Paul, Pamela. Pornified: How Pornography is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families. 1st ed.
[4] Ibid. p. 85.
[5] Ibid. p. 87.
.
We thought we ought to let porn speak for itself (“porn on porn,– if you will), so here's a series of actual quotations by adult film actors and directors on their experiences, their beliefs, their profession, and their concerns:
“[Wicked Pictures, one of the largest adult video production companies, doesn't] cater so much to the raincoat crowd, your hard-edged, hardcore viewers. There are companies where that's all they cater to– ”the nasty shit. We don't do that. There's still lots of anals, and facial come shots, but it's not usually degrading to women.– — Brad Armstrong[1]
*
“I was the first to shoot Rocco [Siffredi]. Together we evolved toward rougher stuff. He started to spit on girls. A strong, male-dominant thing, with women being pushed to their limit.– — John Stagliano[2]
*
“I don't have relationships anymore. They make life unstable. The only sex I have is the sex I have on screen.– — Temptress[3]
*
“Some girls are used up in nine months or a year.– — Jonathan Morgan[4]
*
“But at least if a guy is unhappy with the way his wife is performing, he can watch porno and jerk off maybe, rather than have an affair.– — Brad Armstrong[5]
*
“I had actually never had anal sex before the business. I tried it and loved it so much that I went a little crazy. I got hurt doing it. I stopped doing it and we are going to wait a bit until I heal and then go back to it.– — Alicia Alighatti[6]
*
“There's tons of girls who think it's way hot and desperately want to make or see a movie featuring– ¦ tentacle rape, gagging on cum, girls getting the shit beat out of them, whatever it is, there is some girl somewhere who is way into it and just wants to be able to get her hands on it.– — Zak Sabbath[7]
*
“You're not going to be arrested. You are not going to be hit. You are not going to end up in a car truck somewhere.– — Nina Hartley[8]
*
“I got the shit kicked out of me, but that was not in the program. I was not prepared to be roughed up that much. I couldn’t stop crying for the rest of the day. I was traumatized from that video. They did not tell me that they were going to be literally hurting me. This is the worst line ever put out there. It’s right up there with snuff videos. [The actor] choked me while lifting me off the ground. I couldn't breathe. I was being hit and choked. I was really upset, and they didn't stop. They kept filming. You can hear me say, – ˜Turn the fucking camera off,' and they kept going. If they think women are into that, they’re dead wrong.– — Regan Starr[9]
*
“Nearly everyone has STDs. I had 10 different venereal diseases during my first year in the industry.– — Chloe[10]
*
“The tests we take only test for AIDS. We've contained AIDS in the industry, but what about all the others? You know we're now up to hepatitis G?– — Chloe[11]
*
“Yeah, a fourteen year old look.– — Alicia Alighatti, when asked about her glasses and braces.[12]
*
“Men take advantage of women in every industry. We live in a patriarchy. But that being said, when you want to do porn, you go to an agent and they ask you what you will do and what you won't do — will you do girls? Will you do boys and girls? It's not like that in the real world. They don't give you options like that.– — Joanna Angel[13]
*
“We're prostitutes. There are differences. You can choose your partners, and they're tested for AIDS — you won't get your john to do that. But we're prostitutes: We exchange sex for money.– — Chloe[14]
*
“There’s a little bit of Jenna Jameson in every woman out there.– — Jenna Jameson[15]
*
“To this day, I still can't watch my own sex scenes.– — Jenna Jameson[16]
[1] Bowe, John, Marisa Bowe, and Sabin Streeter. Gig: Americans Talk About Their Jobs at the Turn of the Millennium. 1st ed.
[2] Amis, Martin. “Sex in
[3] Ibid. p. 101.
[4] Ibid.
[5] Gig: Americans Talk About Their Jobs at the Turn of the Millennium. p. 364.
[6] “Alicia Alighatti Interview.” Rog Reviews. 10 Feb 2007 <http://www.rogreviews.com/interviews/alicia_alighatti.asp>.
[7] DiMattia, M. “Zak Sabbath alt.porn Q&A.” BME: Body Modification Ezine. 28 Feb 2007 <http://www.bmezine.com/news/guest/20060920.html>.
[8] Schlosser, Eric. Reefer Madness: Sex, Drugs, and Cheap Labor in the American Black Market. 1st ed..
[9] “Regan Starr.” Adult Video News. 10 Feb 2007 <http://www.avn.com/index.php?Primary_Navigation=Articles&Action=View_Article&Content_ID=18391>.
[10] Amis, Martin. “Sex in
[11] Ibid. p. 134
[12] “Alicia Alighatti Interview.” Rog Reviews. 10 Feb 2007 <http://www.rogreviews.com/interviews/alicia_alighatti.asp>.
[13] Dworken, Arye. “Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth? Part II.” Jewcy.com : What Matters Now 15 Nov 2006 21 Jan 2007 <http://www.jewcy.com/interview/kiss_your_mother_with_that_mouth_part_2>.
[14] Amis, Martin. “Sex in
[15] Cooper, Anderson. “Jenna Jameson: ‘I chose the right profession’.” CNN 28 Aug 2004 10 Jan 2007 <http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/books/08/27/jenna.jameson/>.
[16] Jameson, Jenna, and Neil Strauss. How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale. 1st ed.
.
If you're a parent and you let your kids have access to the Internet, there are a variety of parental controls available to protect your kids from pornography. Why do we need them? Because according to a study run by the London School of Economics, 60% of children using the Internet happen upon pornography regularly.[1] Most Internet service providers, like MSN, AOL, and Earthlink, have built-in parental controls available, but if your provider doesn't offer these protections or if you'd like to double-up the safety, you can turn to some of the tools listed below:
This is just a small sampling and not an endorsement or a statement of efficacy in regards to any of this software in particular, though Optenet did receive a five-star rating from the reviewers at c|net.
We owe it to our kids to protect them this much more.
* * *
You can also find a ton of free (Did you just say free? We did.) downloads here from, of all places, Download.com.
You can also learn more about protecting your kids on the Internet (in terms of instant messages, MySpace, blogging, etc.) at the NetSmartz Workshop, a informational resource put together by the
[1]Prigg, Mark, and Paul Sims. “Truth About Dangers of Net as Half of Children Are Exposed to Porn.” The Evening Standard 03 Sept 2004
.
“American Porn– is a FRONTLINE documentary put together by the generous and somewhat genius folks over at PBS. When I first watched it in 2003, it left me shocked and a little sick to my stomach. Apparently, I want to spread the acid indigestion. But seriously — this film, given the rise of pornography in both our popular and private cultures, is a must see. Just click the PBS logo to be taken to the film.
Here are three of the highlights (or lowlights, depending on how you look at them):
- AT & T, GE, AOL, hotel chains, and other companies make hundreds of millions of the cash-register cha-ching off adult films every year. The numbers are only rising.
- Some pornography (and we're not just talking about child pornography) appears to break criminal laws.
- September 11, 2001 greatly diminished the way the federal government prosecutes criminal pornography.
When you're done watching, please tell someone else about it. Just click the green “Share This– button in the lower, left hand corner of this post, and then click “E-mail.–
.
Because we're social libertarians (we believe we have a right, as odd as it might be, to harm ourselves but not others), we can't quite bring ourselves to think that “pornography” should be completely banned (because some consider erotica pornographic, and, well, we don’t). There are valid arguments that porn increases rates of rape, pedophilia, general misogyny and misandry, distorted sexual expectations, and addiction, amongst other problems. But the issue remains too pervasive and complex, too gray around some of its edges. We've at least come to believe that greater governmental oversight is required. If pornography should be shut down, and there is a great deal of research to suggest that the societal damage it creates would permit the government to enact such a ban without being too paternalistic, we really can’t rely on the government to do it.
We are going to recommend, however, that you take one simple action: stop.
Odds are, given the fact you're an Internet user and likely a citizen of a country that spends 10-15 billion dollars each year on pornography, that you have or do watch pornography.[1] But stopping can seriously improve your life and the lives of others.
Why? As the author Pamela Paul argues, “the all-pornography, all-the-time mentality is everywhere in today's pornified culture.– She's painfully right. We live in a culture where stores hock Hello Kitty thongs, a piece of clothing which is “literally a byproduct of the sex industry.– [2] A culture where between 1992 and 2004, “breast augmentation procedures in this country went from 32,607 a year to 264, 041 a year.– [3] A culture where Paris Hilton is celebrated by teens because “she is our mascot.– [4] A culture where a porn star's book tops the best-seller list (a porn star, we should add, that according to her own book, “was beaten unconscious with a rock, gang-raped, and left for dead– ¦her sophomore year of high school– [5]). A culture where, according to a 2004 study, porno websites get three times the traffic as Google, Yahoo!, and MSN Search combined.[6]
But this isn't “a– culture. This is our culture, and not for the sexually better, but for the worse.
In her 2005 book, Female Chauvinist Pigs, Ariel Levy describes the problem of pornography this way: “porn stars are selling something more than a skill — they are giving up the most private part of their being for public consumption.– Some might respond by saying, “Well, they're choosing to do it.– This, of course, doesn't mean we have to participate in it by viewing and purchasing the material. According to Dr. Melissa Farley, a psychologist and researcher at the
We think that what we've written in our opening salvo (and the Read, Protect, and Watch sections of this Wednesday topic) do a good job of supporting the simple argument we're making now: stop, people, stop.
Picture clicked this fine-eyed photographer.
- – - – -
[1] We're not going to be holier-than-thou: we've watched pornography; we've owned pornography.
[2] Levy, Ariel. Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture. 1st.
[3] Ibid. p. 20.
[4] Ibid. p. 28.
[5] Ibid. p. 182.
[6] Baertlein, Lisa . “Study: Web porn entices far more surfers than search.” USA Today 03 June 2004 12 Feb 2007 <http://www.usatoday.com/tech/webguide/internetlife/2004-06-03-popular-porn_x.htm>.
.
Child pornography is an insult to humanity. It must be stopped. And it's much more pervasive than you might think. According to the
Well, maybe this will: according to the National Criminal Justice Reference Service, “of the juvenille victims identified in conjuction with pornography crimes, 25% were members of the offender’s family, 59% were teens, 28% were elementary school age, and 13% were preschoolers.– Additionally, “by the end of 2003, the CyberTipline was receiving more than 1,500 reports on child pornography per week.– (Emphasis added.)
Or maybe this info from the NCMEC will do the trick: “according to investigators who handled the cases of estimated arrestees, “most had images of children who had not yet reached puberty. Specifically 83% had images of children between ages 6 and 12; 39% had images of 3 to 5 year old children; and 19% had images of toddlers or infants younger than age 3.–
One of the largest organizations trying to battle the sexual exploitation of children is ECPAT International. According to their website, this stand-up, and unfortunately necessary, organization does the following and more:
We follow what governments are doing, and have done, to combat commercial sexual exploitation of children, and we publish the results. We explore good models for prevention work, and share those models and experiences. We find and develop training modules to help caregivers to do their work better. We develop learning tools for police training curricula. We provide advice and information to groups who are trying to make a national plan for their country, or to implement an existing plan. We carry out research and develop research methodologies. We promote the participation of young people in seeking solutions to the problems and in providing support to victims.
As far as child pornography is concerned, ECPAT “seeks to develop positive cooperative relationships with the ISPs and the software and search engine production industries in order to find answers to the technological problems concerning the transmission of child pornography via computer and the Internet.– But, as they indicate, this battle is an uphill one due to technology changes, definitions of “child,– and legal practices.
What we've learned is that this is an international problem, not just an American one. But all children deserve respect, kindness, and caring, not sexual exploitation and abuse. If there's ever been an organization that needs and deserves your help, it's this one. No child should suffer at the hands of these predators.
You can help. And since you've got more than ventricles and atriums — I'm saying you've got heart, man – “ you will help. Here's how:
- Donate to ECPAT
- Donate to the
- Report potential child pornography to the CyberTipline
- Host a banner for the CyberTipline on your blog or website (as we do now)
- – - – -
[1] Paul, Pamela. Pornified: How Pornography is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families. 1st ed.
.
Postscript:
We realize this may have been a disturbing Wednesday to read. But we live in a somewhat disturbing world in need of our help and in need of the progress we can make.
Toward the end of his article about pornography in Talk Magazine, Martin Amis writes: “porno is littered — porno is heaped — with the death of feelings.– In an issue of Walrus, Charles Foran makes the case more specifically. He writes that:
Pornography may be stalking one emotion more than any other. That would be the shared feelings we have for fellow humans, along with the inclination to recognize kindred suffering and even lend aid. Porn may yet be the death of empathy.
Because life is, quite possibly, the thing we desire most of all, life itself is progress. So it might be time we considered a slightly different way of living. It might be time we, as individuals and as a culture, made a different choice.
We’ve previously covered ways to email more progressively (
To highlight regional and national information important to progressives.
If you’re like the staff at Progressive Wednesday, you find yourself wanting to read newspapers and databases like 
Make this your homepage 
Add this to your favorites